What do I say to the guy I like who lives in another country?

            This guy came to our school for a few months from "Spain" (not real location). He played football for our team until he went back home during winter break. I started to like him more and more though we barely ever talked. I told him I liked him a week or two before he left, but he never replyed or acted like he read it. I want to ask him how he felt or if he read it. But I dont want to feak him out or him think I'm silly. So my question is should I bring it up and ask him? Or forget it because he's already gone?

Your a fairytale?

    It was an accident.  You were never ment to get that message.  I wasn't going to send it to you.  I was just getting my feelings out.  But you know now and you haven't said anything.  Why is that?  I just want to know how you feel about me. I wanted you to know, just not so early.

    I want you to be my Prince.  I want to hold your hand and know your someone I would fly around the world for.  The one I would cheer for at one of your games.  I just want you to understand I really do have feelings for you.  I just want you to be a fairytale, not a nightmare.

~GWN*

It's...

            It's the way you sit there, looking a bit lost.  The way you smile at anyone.  When you talk your accent makes certain words sound different.  It's when your dressed out for a game, and you do a little dance when the music plays.  The smile on your face when I talked to you, because I had to repeat myself three times.  It's how I feel like my heart might beat out of my chest whenever I talk to you.  How when I say your name I can't help but have a big smile on my face.  When ever I see you I try my hardest not to trip or fall.  It's how I love to talk to you but I don't know what to say.  How I wish you were mine.  It's how I wish I could look up into your eyes, and be able to think, "he's mine."

It's the feeling inside that tells me don't get your hopes up.  It's knowing your not staying.  The fear of rejection scares the hell out of me.  I cant stop myself for dreaming.  I don't want you to go.  I'd go with you if I could.  I'd do anything for us to have a chance.  Just don't crush me, please.  It's how much I have learned because of you.  It's the fact that I'm scared I'll never feel like this for anyone but you. 

It's you... 

~GWN*

Tuscany

Your like the sun for me,

I need you to survive.

Your like air,

I need you to breathe.

Your like blood,

my heart needs you.

When you leave,

your taking half of me with you.

My feelings are like buried treasure,

you'll never find them.

When you leave,

all I'll do is cry.

~GWN*

What's So Special About Her?

        Why is it that every cute guy I see is always talking to a beautiful, skinny girl?  I know there was time when big was beautiful.  I mean I'm not big,big but I'm not skinny either.  I love myself some days, and the next I wonder if things would be different if I was skinny.
       If the guys that knew I liked them would be interested if I was.  Sometimes I wonder if guys will ever like a girls for themself or if it truly is all about how they look.  I mean trying to look nice never hurt anyone.  Some of the girls you never think you would go out with are usually the ones that treat you the best.  Like they treat you with respect.
      When you take the time to know someone it could change everything.  Just once I want someone to say I'm pretty.  Someone who's not my family.  Are there any nice guys in the world!?!  I dont believe there is.  If there is someone point them out.
       I'm tired of hoping that this one guy will realize that the girls he keeps dating are all drama.  He keeps saying he doesn't want any drama but there he goes chasing them.  I have liked him for almost two years.  Why do I still wait around?  What do I do? What's so damn special about her?! Huh!?!

                                            ~GWN

The Last Few Chapters...

        What if you were reading a book.   Then when you turn the page to the next chapter nothing is there?  What do you do?  Okay I know what your thinking. What the hell is this chick talking about?
        We have all  been walking in the same foot steps as each other.  Start to walk, talk, learn, get older, go to school, graduate.  Then make one of the most important decisions of our lives.  To go to collage or not to go to collage.  My school has been asking since the fourth grade.  Each time I say I don't know.  But they tell me and I quote "Well what do you like to do?  What's your hobbies?"  Now this is what my answer was going to be "Why I like to go to raves.  Get kids to try drugs.  Kick random guys in the nads.  I also like to finger paint in human blood."  Now here is what I really said "I like to paint.  Read.  I really like to write.  I want to be a writer."  But then they want to have realistic goals.  Why in the world would they ask you what you like to do then just tell you your not ever going to get there?
       It's like they want you to be happy with what you do.  But it has to be something they want you to do.  It makes no sense.  If I want to be a freaking painter, writer, or a mermaid I'm going to find a way to do it.  No one can tell me what I want to be.
      These are the last words I read before the rest of the book went blank. That not one person can tell me who I am, or what I'm going to be.  I can be anything I want to be.  The last few chapters are turning into a series.  I have a wonderful adventure ahead of me.  Just watch me sparkle.

                                                ~GWN*

What's A Girl to Do?

        Bullied and burned.  Beaten and tormented isn't something most teens go through all at once.  Okay, it probably is but not for me. I've always been the one to stay out of every one's way.  I knew what to do and I knew my place.  But now things are starting to change. 

        I've always been the shy, awkward, and clumsy person.  The people I've grew up going to school with have seen me go through every embarrassing change and awkward moment.  I haven't had but one boyfriend.  I don't think being who I am will ever be enough.  I'll always be the weird girl.  I have been through my tomboy, stupid, punk, loner,and girlish phase.

        I have been wanting a change for awhile, but now that I'm starting a new year at school I have never wanted it more.  I'd give anything to make everyone forget who I was.  I want them to see who I am now.  What I'm all about.

       I want to show them I'm not the same girl in the seventh grade.  Not the girl they can make fun of any more.  Not the one they choose to tease for fun.  That for the rest of high school is going to be different.  I want the best years of my life to be perfect.

       I won't be the girl walking down the hall with her head down.  I won't be the girl scared to look people in the eye, say sorry for every little thing, let people walk all over me,let people get to me.  I am going to change everything about me.  I am going to be a whole new person.

      I will be the girl they don't want to mess with.  The girl that will up anyone who crosses her.  But I also don't want to be the one every one hates, just fears.  The one who has more than I really do.  Sparkly.  So, what's a girl to do?  When she doesn't even know if she wants what she just said.  Where do I stand?

                                                     ~GWN*